Ep. 5 of Challenges of an Immigrant

When you arrive in a new environment, it is natural to expect acceptance. We are all human, and in principle we are all equal. In practice, it rarely works that way. George Orwell put it memorably in Animal Farm: some animals are more equal than others. So why do newcomers expect established groups, with long-held ideas and cultures, to accept them quickly?

Acceptance has to be built. That means taking the time to understand the culture you are joining, and sharing enough about your own culture that others can understand you. You cannot force acceptance, and kindness goes further than insistence.

Think of a bakery. You smell fresh bread from down the street long before you walk in and buy it. Sometimes you smell it from afar with no money in your pocket. Acceptance works the same way: people are drawn in gradually, by what they notice about you over time.

Two ways of seeing work

Many African cultures are deeply religious and respectful. There is trust that God has a plan, and an expectation that good work will speak for itself. Promoting yourself can look boastful or proud.

In many Western workplaces, the assumption is different. You were hired for the skills and experience you already have. Advancement depends heavily on relationships, networking and visibility, and talking about your work is read as confidence in it.

Neither view is wrong. They are different perspectives. What matters is knowing which one your environment runs on. When you share your background openly and take the time to understand how others see things, you put yourself on the path to greater success.

How to talk about your work without feeling boastful

If you were raised to let your work speak for itself, self-promotion can feel uncomfortable. Reframe it as reporting, not boasting. Your manager needs to know what you achieved to make good decisions about the team. A simple habit helps: at the end of each week, write three lines on what you delivered, what you learned and what you need. Share it with your manager. It is factual, useful and builds a clear record of your contribution.

In meetings, focus on outcomes for the team or client: "We closed the reconciliation two days early, which gave the controller time to review the variances." That is not bragging. It is information people value.

Learn the unwritten rules

Every organisation has unwritten rules about how decisions are made, who influences them and how disagreement is expressed. Find a mentor who has been there for a few years and ask directly: how do people get noticed here, and what mistakes do newcomers make? Most people are glad to help when asked respectfully.

Keep the best of both perspectives

Humility, respect and faith are strengths. So are confidence, visibility and networking. The goal is not to abandon one view for the other but to combine them: do excellent work, describe it clearly and treat everyone with respect. People who manage that balance often become the leaders others trust most, because they are both capable and grounded.

Questions for reflection

• Do I expect acceptance immediately, or am I investing in building it?
• How often do I share what I am working on with my manager and team?
• Who could explain the unwritten rules of my workplace to me?

A note for leaders

Leaders can help newcomers by making expectations explicit. If visibility and self-advocacy matter for promotion, say so. Create regular one-to-one conversations where employees can share progress without feeling boastful. Recognise achievements publicly, so quieter team members are not overlooked simply because they do not promote themselves. Assess performance on outcomes, not on how loudly someone speaks in meetings.

Many talented professionals from cultures that value humility are underestimated because they wait for their work to be noticed. Organisations that see past style to substance gain capable, loyal people. Those that do not lose them to competitors who do. Acceptance is built from both sides: newcomers learning the culture, and the culture making room for newcomers.

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